The “High Five” Patent
by thedayofgames on Sep.01, 2010, under Uncategorized
As a guy running a business (www.thedayofgames.com) based on the playing of games, I am constantly thinking of ideas for improving existing games or simply inventing my own. Every now and then I will like an idea so much that I quickly do some research into the invention… 1) Has anyone else thought of this? 2) What would be a cool name? 3) Would it be cost-effective to produce? 4) Is there an existing patent on the idea? etc. etc.
This afternoon I was reviewing some patents when I came across this absolute gem of a patent: “APPARATUS FOR SIMULATING A ‘HIGH FIVE’”
Classic. I can’t believe this thing was patented! What a spectacularly terrible invention! It generally costs about $10,000 or more to have your invention turned into a patent (legal fees, legal fees, and more legal fees). The production costs are a completely separate matter. Was this thing ever actually produced? Where can I buy one? Is it rude if I use my High Fiving Apparatus to slap hands instead of a friend who is sitting with me? Can I take this thing to sporting events? Will it fist bump? What about low-fives? So many questions!
Albert Cohen of Troy, NY must have been an avid sports fan with no money to attend actual events, or no friends to watch games with, because why would anyone go through such great lengths to come up with something so ridiculous. I have been an incredibly lucky guy when it comes to sporting events, I’ve attended Olympic events, World Cup games, MLB playoffs, NCAA Sweet 16 games, soccer games in South America, NBA playoffs, and a zillion other sporting events which have thrilled me beyond belief. In EVERY SINGLE INSTANCE where something AMAZING has happened I have high-fived the stranger next to me. In about a dozen cases I can think of, I have hugged the strangers next to me. In a few rare instances, I have even dog-piled with complete strangers. Maybe Albert was scared of strangers? Here is some of the text from the patent which I am sure you will find entertaining:
Quoted directly from the patent:
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“BACKGROUND OF THE INVENTION:
During a televised sporting event, a “high five: is commonly shared between fans to express the joy and excitement of a touchdown, home run, game-winning basket, birdie or other positive occurrence. Unfortunately, as known in the art, a “high five” requires the mutual hand slapping of two participants, wherein a first participant slaps an upraised hand against the elevated hand of a second participant. As such, a solitary fan is unable to perform a “high five” to express excitement during a televised sporting event.
SUMMARY OF THE INVENTION:
In order to avoid the disadvantages of the prior art, the present invention provides a pivotable, self-righting hand-arm configuration for simulating a “high five” when struck by the hand of a user”
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Brilliant! Sign me up for one of these hand slapping machines.



